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Hi everyone , I just want to point out that there
has been some changes to the
KEEP SMILING
DIRECTORY that you should check out . Also there are several links
in this newsletter that take you to other pages made by Keep Smiling
(hopefully there will be more of these to come in the future)
. You will also find links to Special offers for some really neat
merchandise that you can order. I am currently looking for a story
or poem for Mothers Day. If you have one that you would like
to submit Please send it to
Othrrggrs@aol.com
(please use this link).
Oh yeah and just one more thing ..... Be sure to click on the pictures. Most of them are linked to cool websites
Invite your friends to sign up for Keep Smiling.
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Thought of the Day
Cross the river,
then insult the crocodiles.
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Smile for
Me Again!!
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The American Dream
Joe Smith started the day early,
having set his alarm clock (made in Japan), for 6:00 A.M.While his coffee pot (made in Japan), is perking,
he puts his blow dryer (made in Taiwan) to work and
shaves with his electric razor (made in Hong Kong).
He puts on a dress shirt (made in Taiwan),
his designer jeans (made in Singapore),
and a pair of tennis shoes (made in Korea).
After cooking up some breakfast in his new electric skillet (made in Philippines),
he sits down to figure out on his calculator (made in Mexico),
how much he can spend today. After setting his watch (made in Switzerland),
to the radio (made in Hong Kong),
he goes out, gets in his car (made in Germany),
goes looking as he has been for months, for a good paying American job.
After the end of another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decides to relax for a while. He puts on a pair of sandals (made in Brazil),
pours himself a glass of wine (made in France),
and turns on his TV (made in Japan),
and ponders again
why he can't find a good paying American job.
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"Someday, I'd like a little brother,"
said Little Johnny to his friend.
"There's only so much you can blame on a dog."
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There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says, "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked.
The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, "'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man."
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Too Small
Granny was visiting town for the first time. She checks in at the hotel, and the bellboy takes her bags. She follows the boy, and as the door closes, she looks around and shakes her fist at him. "Young man, I may be old, and straight from the hills, but that don't mean I'm stupid! I paid good money, and this room won't do at all! It's too small, and without proper ventilation! Why there's not even a bed!" The bellhop looks at her and says, "Ma'am, this isn't your room, It's the elevator!"
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My
Paintbrush
by Keep
Smiling
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The FBI's Ten Most Wanted Fugitives
http://www.fbi.gov/mostwant/tenlist.htm
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THE DREADED AMISH FLU
First you get a little hoarse.
Then you get a little buggy.
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Time with your children can be fun!
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter:
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child:
"Moooo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child:
"Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and
replied,
"Bud.
OOOoooooooKaaaaaayyyyyyy
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In
some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative
is still a negative.
However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a
double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."
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The Lawyer
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he
called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is
it or the express degree you told me about?"
"It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon,
why do you want to become a lawyer?"
"That's my business! Get me the course!"
Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer
was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid.
Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and
it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the
lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late,
tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before
you died?"
In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said,
"One less lawyer . . ."
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Remember to check
EVERY WEEK |
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The Landing
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had
hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline
had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at the door
while the passengers exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for
flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he
had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye,
thinking that someone would have a smart comment, but no
one seemed annoyed.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for one little old lady
walking with a cane. She approached and asked,
conspiratorially, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am, what is it?"
"Did we land or were we shot down?"
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Apologies to Mary Poppins
Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet
became quite thick and hard. He also was quite a spiritual person. Even when
he was not on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and
frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he wound up with very bad breath.
Therefore: he came to be known as a (wait for it ...):
... ( close your eyes before reading the rest ... )
>
>
>
> .. .
> "Super calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis."
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Welcome to my Cave!!!
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The poem that was here was removed at the author's request
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License Please
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get
your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
today you expect me to show it to you."
Rubiks Cube
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It's all for free and just waiting for you check it out !
KEEP SMILING Free Stuff And Trial Offers
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Y to K Problem
I hope I haven't misunderstood your instructions.
Because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem
makes any sense to me.
At any rate I have finished converting all the
months on all my calendars so that the year 2000
is ready to go with the following new months:
Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk
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Has been updated with a lot of new contests with some really neat prizes !
Now you can get FREE Internet Access
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