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When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice
that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the lawn?
 Hey everyone,
I received an email from a group that I belong to that had this link in
it. It is a website called "Let's Say Thanks"
If you go to this web site, www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will
be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq. You can't pick
out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it
would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!
Please sign off with a "KEEP SMILING" www.keepsmiling.com just to give them something to smile about
Keep
Smiling Searches the Web
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Can't Sleep
An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to the Doctor's office. "Doctor,
there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night,
and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."
"Great," the man answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."
A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"
"I don't understand how that could be, said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"
"That may be true," answered the man wearily, "but I'm up all night chasing those dogs, and when I finally catch one it's heck getting him to swallow the pill!"
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Snapshots
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Two Pair of Pants
A man came home from the office and found his new bride sobbing convulsively.
"I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
"Oh, just forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."
"Yes, I know. And it's lucky you have!" said the woman, drying her eyes.
"I was able to use a piece from them to patch the hole!"
Join Keep Smiling and you will receive a notice whenever
the Keep Smiling website is updated or a new issue is
published
Hey everyone,
I received an email from a group that I belong to that had this link in
it. It is a website called "Let's Say Thanks"
Join the
Keep Smiling
It is fun ....it is Free
Two Snakes
There where two snakes talking.
The 1st
one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey
and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush
our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'.
Then the second Snake
says "Why do you ask?"
The 1st one replies: "I just bit my
lip!"
Search for Jokes with
Keep Smiling
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You Might be a redneck
if...
your
wife is quoted in the local paper saying...
Toast
A guy raises his glass and toasts his blonde girlfriend. "Here's
hoping you're
in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're
dead!"
"What's that mean?"
"That is an authentic Irish
toast."
"Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."
"Bread,
eggs and cinnamon? What's that?"
"That's French toast."
DO NOT!!
CLICK ON THE BIG RED BUTTON
Sucess Story
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his fortune.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it
was 1932, the depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing
the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.
"The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent
the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for
20 cents. I
continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated
a fortune of $1.37.
"Then
my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
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Keep Smiling Puzzle
try this puzzle
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A Teenager Is...
...someone who can't remember to walk the dog each day but never forgets a phone number he heard once.
...a weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast.
...someone who receives her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows it from her best friend on Wednesday.
...someone who can pick out the voice of a friend from three blocks away, but can't hear his mother calling from the next room.
...a computer whiz who can operate any new gadget within seconds but can't make the bed.
...a connoisseur of two types of fine music: loud and very loud.
...a person who can bike for miles but is usually too tired to help with the dishes.
...a romantic who never falls in love more than twice a week.
...your own reality show but with fewer commercials.
...painfully funny at many times. At other times a teenager is just painful.
...someone who will pitch in and help clean every room in the house, as long as it's the neighbor's house.
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Click here to enter Keep Smiling's
Gloria's
Kitchen
Visit with Gloria and Granny and the rest of the gang
for more fun and laughs and some darn good recipes
that they have collected from email for you.
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What does your family do for Christmas
The teacher asked her students how they celebrate Christmas.
She called on Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what does your family
do at Christmas time?"
"Me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the
midnight Mass and we sing
hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince
pies by the back door and
hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to
bed and wait for Father
Christmas to come with all our toys."
"Very
nice, Patrick. Betty Schmidt, what does your family do at Christmas?"
"My sister and I also go to Church with Mum and Dad and we sing carols
and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and
we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring
our presents."
A Jewish boy had his hand in the air so the teacher asked Isaac Cohen,
"What does your family do at Christmas?"
"It's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We
all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy factory. When we
get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and sing 'What a Friend We
Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas."
Don't forget to send your
Postcard-of-the-day
A somewhat advanced society has figured how to package basic knowledge in
pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available. The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back into the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plunks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replied, "Well, you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
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You want to find something on Keep Smiling?
I can find anything for you!
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I am amazing!
Just enter the what
you want and click search.
Go On try it out!
If'n you want to find it on the web, just check the "Web" Button
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