Now is the time that we have all been waitig for! We have finished painting the place and we have most of the landsacping done and the fellas even got the parking lot put in.

They did a real fine job too, as you can see in the photograph below that I took just this morning as the sun was rising.

Click on the picture and you will be welcomed to the Grand Opening of the

THUNDER MOUNTAIN TRADING POST 

Plenty of parking at the Thunder Mountain Trading Post

Just wait till you see what's inside!

Everbody is a Critic

Two mice live in a movie studio warehouse and are looking for food. Suddenly one hears the other chewing.

"What did you find?" he asks.

"I am not sure," comes the answer. "It looks like a piece of film celluloid from an old movie. Let me see... Ah, yes. It is from 'Gone with the Wind'".

"And how is it?"

"Nothing much. The book was better."

God's Presence

The Check-Up

A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a checkup.

The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. You have the body of a 35 year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"

The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"

The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."

The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"

The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"

The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"

The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."

The doctor said, "At 106 years, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"

His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?

Gloria's Kitchen

The Escape Artists

Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order to shoot him was given, he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what his old boss had done. Before the order to shoot was given, Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking "I see the pattern here, just scream out a disaster and hop over the wall."

As the firing squad was reassembled and the rifles raised in his direction, he grinned and yelled, "Fire!"

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Letter from the People Of  CA

Dear Washington State residents:

Last weeks earthquake was just a warning.

Now that we have your attention, sell us your power, give us back our sunshine, take back your rain and we'll take back our earthquakes. [signed] The People of California

Earthquake As Artist
Photos from Gaelic Wolf Consulting

The Road Crew

One morning a local highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels.

The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation.

The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels...just lean on each other until they arrive."

Government Spraying US Population

Punnies

When crazy glue was invented lots of people became attached to it.

Undertakers are nice - they're the last to let people down.

If cats could read they would paws after each claws.

A man played the organ in his garden to get organically grown food.

Some people are on seefood diets: they see food ... they eat it.

Those who make sponges get very absorbed in their work.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

A sleeping cow is also a bulldozer.

She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

--Thanks to D.A.F.

Heavenly Switchboard

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

Navaho Indians Native Americans of the Southwest

All About Children

You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing the driveway before it has stopped snowing.

There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it. - Chinese Proverb.

Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

We child proofed our home 3 years ago and they're still getting in!

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

There is nothing better than Free-Stuff, and www.Free2Try.com is where the Internet goes for Free Stuff and Trial Offers.

The Festival

After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

Then the guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies,

"Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

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Break On Through

Six months after Morris the waiter died, his widow went to see a medium, who promised she would contact the dead man.

During the seance, the widow was sure she saw her husband standing in the corner, dressed in his waiter's outfit.

"Morris!" she cried. "Come closer and speak to me!"

A hoarse voice from the corner said, "I can't."

"Why not?" asked his widow.

"It's not my table." replied Morris.

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WINNER!

A man in a state of excessive inebriation rolled up at a fairground rifle range booth and threw down the necessary money. The booth operator at first refused to let him have a turn, considering that his inebriated state would endanger the public. But the drunk insisted and was given a gun.

He aimed unsteadily in the general direction of the target and after tying to focus, pulled the trigger three times. The booth owner, on inspecting the target, was astonished to see that he had scored three bullseyes. The star prize for the evening was a large set of glassware, but the showman was certain that the drunk wasn't aware of what he had done, and gave him instead a consolation prize, a small, live turtle. The drunk wandered off into the crowd.

An hour or so later he came back, even more drunk than before. Once again the showman demurred, but once again the drunk insisted, and once more scored three bullseyes and was given another turtle.

Eventually the drunk rolled up again and insisted on a third attempt. Once more he picked up the rifle, waved it around in the general direction of the target, and pulled the trigger three times. Once more he had scored three bullseyes. But this time there was an onlooker with good eyesight.

"That's fantastic", the man said. "Hasn't he scored three bulls?"

The showman, cursing his luck, made a show of going over to the target and inspecting it closely.

"Yes, sir!", he announced to the crowd. "This is fantastic! Congratulations, sir, you have won the star prize, this magnificent 68-piece set of glassware!"

"I don't want any bloody glasses", the drunk replied. "Give me another one of those little crusty meat pies.....!"

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Don't Figure

It was autumn, and time for the blonde chicken farmer to go over his books. To his puzzlement,he found that his flock of Rhode Island Reds was twice as profitable, in terms of the eggs they produced, as was his flock of White Leghorns.

"Look at this," he said to his wife. "I've gone over the numbers again and again, and there's no doubt about it: the Reds are laying twice as many eggs, and bringing in twice the money of the Whites. I just don't understand it."

"I'll tell you something else," said his equally blonde wife, running a finger over the figures in her husband's spreadsheet. "It looks like the Reds are eating twice as much as the Whites too. Maybe that's why they're producing twice as many eggs."

"By golly, you're right," said the farmer. Stymied, he went to bed that night, making a mental note to call an expert the next day.

He spent the following morning on the phone, calling the best poultry experts all over the country, but none could offer a satisfactory explanation as to why a flock of Rhode Island Reds would eat twice as much or produce twice as many eggs as a flock of White Leghorns.

On the verge of giving up, the farmer realized he had wasted a whole morning on the phone, when he should have been out tending his chickens. He hurried out to the huge hen house, where he ran into Jeb, the young farmhand.

"Get up late this morning?" asked Jeb.

The farmer explained, as he had at least twenty times already that day, about the mystery of the chickens, and how he had sought expert advice, to no avail.

Jeb listened, and when the farmer was done talking, said, "Boss, I think I can tell you why the Reds are eating twice as much and laying twice as many eggs as the Whites."

The blonde farmer smirked. "Oh, really, Jeb? And why would that be?"

"Well, Boss," said Jeb, "you own twice as many Reds."