Paper clips are the larval stage of coat hangers.

 Hi everyone,  Just keeping you up to date on on the Thunder Mountain Trading Post.  We are going thru a few delays in construction at this time, so it may be another week or so before we open the doors.

Hey, while I have your attention I need jokes ...Have you heard of any good jokes ... want to share them with the rest of us....   just email them to  Jokes@keepsmiling.com.

Be sure to click the link to Gloria's Kitchen that you will find in this issue there has been some changes there.

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The Old Native American

Here's one about the old native American who wanted a loan for $500.

The banker pulled out the loan application, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," was the response.

"What have you got for collateral?"

"Don't know collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.  Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"Don't know, has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan. Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here to pay." he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put in tepee."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank," he asked.

"Don't know deposit."

"You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, "What you got for collateral?"

Pinball

Tired of getting all those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd Mortgages, and junk like that? If the answer is, "Yes!" read on. If "no", read on anyway since many of us don't care for banks and credit card companies anyway.

As you know, most, if not all of those letters come with a postage "PRE-PAID" envelope. Why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their application back! Just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them. Heck, you can send it back empty if you want. Keep 'em guessing that way. Let's turn this into a chain letter! Eventually,The banks will begin getting all their crap back in the mail. Let's let them know what's its like to get junk mail, and best of all . . . THEY'RE paying for it! Twice!

Only in America!

Nancy Does Windows:

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me.

"Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

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Road trip

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."

Wild Angel

Casinos

I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" I asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM."

Lights Out

Zeke Goes a Hang Gliding

Here in Kentucky, you don't see too many people hang-gliding. Ol' Zeek decided to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge -- into the wind he goes!

Meanwhile, Maw & Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen! "Paw! Would you look at the size of that bird." she exclaims. Paw raises up, "Git my gun, Maw."

She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG.....BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops."

"I think ya missed him, Paw," says Maw. "Yeah," Paw replies, "but at least he let go of ol' Zeek!"

Gloria's Kitchen

Torture!

There were three American pilots captured by Germans in W.W.II. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and to say "Tick - Tock" over and over.

After about three hours, one of the pilots cracks and starts telling all he knows, signing anything they put in front of him. An hour

later, the second pilot cracks and starts confessing things that he didn't even do.

The third pilot was fighting hard not to crack. He was about halfway cracked. He was turning his head to one side only and saying, "Tick...Tick...Tick..." The German officer in charge went up to him and said, "You thinks you iss so schmart! But I'm telling you that vee haf vays to make you TOCK!"

How to clean anything.com

The Child Psychiatrist

Little Johnny refused to eat. So his mother, in desperation, took him to the psychiatrist, who tried many methods, to no avail. The psychiatrist asked, "What would you like to eat?"

"Worms" Little Johnny said.

The psychiatrist was gleeful as he sent his nurse for cupful. Placing them on a plate, he said, "Here they are."

"I want them fried" was the response.

The nurse took them and had them fried.

When presented with them, Little Johnny replied that he only desired one. The psychiatrist took one and in a strong voice said, "Here is only one. Now eat it."

"I only want half and you eat the other," was the reply.

The psychiatrist swallowed one half and gave the other to Little Johnny.

Just then Little Johnny began to cry. The doctor asked what was wrong.

Little Johnny said, "You ate my half!"

Suddenly There's A Valley

Get A Second Opinion

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stand in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician. "But I can cure pneumonia."

FREEBIES! FREEBIES! FEEBIES!

A lion was walking through the jungle, stopping from time to time to roar and ask the local fauna, "Who's the king of the jungle?"

Every time, the poor animal would stand shaking in its fur and meekly reply, "Y-Y-Y-You, are, y-y-y-your M-M-M-Majesty."

The lion continued through the jungle, terrifying the animals, roaring his challenge to all he met.

He came to an elephant drinking water at a river. "ROAAARRRR!!! Who is the king of the jungle?", he demanded of the pachyderm.

The elephant grabbed the lion with his trunk and proceeded to beat him against the trees and rocks. He then hefted the bruised and battered lion into the river and returned to drinking water.

The lion sputtered to the surface and swam to the shore. He then limped over to the elephant and said, "Well, if you didn't know, you could of just said so!"