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There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
The Keep Smiling Search Page has been updated please take a moment to check it out. On this page you will find instructions on how to make the Keep Smiling Search page your start page. For those of you that already have the Keep Smiling Search page as your start page it will still work like it has.(still under construction) AlphaandOmega created the Flash Intro for the Keep Smiling site and would like to invite you to check their website.
Keep Smiling is made from the material that is collected from the email. In most cases the originator of the material is unknown. Personal contributions to the Keep Smiling website are noted and graphics are displayed as they are received.
Dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few
weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the
pool and throw them fish!
Welcome to Dominique Moceanu Online Here's how you do it!
A blond was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at
the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another
patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated
and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he
easily skewered the olive."Big Deal," muttered the blond. "I already had
him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
Two men are escaping from a Mental Hospital late one moonless night. They get to the roof of the hospital and all they have to do is jump a pretty good distance across to the next building and they are home free. The first man, a psychotic and afraid of nothing, is willing jump. The second man, however, is afraid of the dark, and is seriously considering returning to the hospital to deal with the issue. The first man volunteers to jump across with the flashlight they have brought with them, and then shine the light back across to the second man. "You can walk across on the beam of light and we will be away." "You must be crazy," replies the second man, "you'll turn the flashlight off when I'm halfway across, and I'll fall!"
Greeting-cards.com
- A better way to greet. Too Hot!
Its a Dogs World A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job." "Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!" "No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he will make me answer the phone as well!"
The Right Thing to Say It is not always easy to say the right thing on the spur of the moment. We can sympathize with the chap who met an old friend after many years. "How is your wife?" "She is in heaven," replied the friend. "Oh, I'm sorry," stammered the chap. Then he realized this was not the thing to say. "I mean," he stammered, "I'm glad."
That seemed even worse so he blurted, "Well, what I really mean is, I'm
surprised.
Games
for Dumb Blondes - Hilarious! Who Owes Who A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" "Absolutely," the lawyer responded. The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read "Consultation: $25.00."
Good to the End Bryant, a youngster about four years old, loved having ice cream after dinner every evening. He would sit on his mother's lap and have a small bowl for dessert. Unfortunately, he developed the habit of licking the bowl afterwards to "make sure he got it all". This went on for a while, much to his mother's chagrin. Finally, trying to tactfully hint that it was not such a great idea, she said, "You know, when I was your age, my mother said that licking my dish was a VERY impolite thing to do."
Bryant thought a minute, and then responded, "Well you can do it now if you
like, because I don't mind at ALL!"
Get help with your
homework from Schoolwork Ugh! Duck Food One day a convenience store worker was sitting not doing much. At 2 o'clock the doors swing open and a duck walks in. "Do you have any duck food?" the duck asks. "No we don't got any duck food." "Okay, thanks anyway", says the duck, and walks out. The next day at 2 o'clock the doors swing open again, and the same duck walks in."Got any duck food?" he asks. The clerk is a little annoyed "No! We don't have any duck food!" "Fine." the duck says and walks out. The third day at 2 o'clock the doors swing open and the duck walks in and asks "Got any duck food?" By now the clerk so getting very annoyed: "No" he yells "We don't have any duck food! We didn't have any yesterday,won't have any today and we wont have any tomorrow! And if you come in here again and ask if we have and duck food I'll nail your littleweb feet to the floor!!!!" The duck just turns and walks out the door. On the forth day at 2 o'clock the doors swing open and the duck walks in: "Got any nails?" the duck asks. "No we don't got nails." "Great!....... got any duck food?" |
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