 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Happy Mother's MOM!
Remember to love them while you have them they don't last forever. With this in mind I would like to start this newsletter with the following link. This story is an oldie but it is a very goodie. (Hint: grab a tissue).
I'm Just a Mother? A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another Mom I knew well rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation. "Do you know what you and I are?" she demanded. Before I could answer - and I didn't really have one handy - she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her "occupation," Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "Do you have a job, or are you just a... ?" "Of course I have a job," snapped Emily. "I'm a mother." "We don't list 'mother' as an occupation...'housewife' covers it," said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title, like "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "And what is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. "I'm....a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in mid-air, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants---ages 13, 7, and 3. And upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant. I had scored a beat on bureaucracy and I had gone down on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another......" What a glorious career!
We live in a mobile home. Hey, there are advantages to living in a mobile home. One time, it caught on fire. We met the fire department half way.
A teenager comes home from a rock concert, and his mother asks him how it went. The teenager says, "It was great, Mom. You would have hated it."
Some Other Mothers Throughout the centuries, mothers have been given their children plenty of good advice and notable quotes. Here's just a small sampling: PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!" MARY,MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't minnd you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?" MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?" HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!" COLUMBUS'S MOTHER: "I don't care what you've descovered, Christopher. You still could have written!" BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!" MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?" NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it!" CUSTER'S MOTHER: "Now, George, remember what I told you -- don't go biting off more than you can chew!" ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?" BARNEY'S MOTHER: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple." MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school, Mary, but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you." BATMAN'S MOTHER: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?" GOLDILOCKS'S MOTHER: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?" LITTLE MISS MUFFET'S MOTHER: "Well, all I've got to say is if you don't get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there'll be a lot more spiders around here!" ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But, Albert, it's your senior picture. Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something...?" GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!" JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story, but now tell me where you've really been for the last three days." SUPERMAN'S MOTHER: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?" And finally.... THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!"
Insurance Claim Bill's barn burned down and his wife, Lynn, called the insurance company. Lynn spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." There was a long pause, and then Lynn replied, "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband."
WOMEN have strengths that amaze men. They carry children, they carry hardships, they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. WOMEN stick a love note in their husband's lunch box. They do without new shoes so their children can have them. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They fight for what they believe in, they stand up for injustice. They are in the front row at PTA meetings. She can make a romantic evening unforgettable. They love unconditionally. WOMEN are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power; but they still know how to use their softer side to make a point. They want the best for their family, friends and themselves. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. WOMEN are happy (or cry) when they hear about a birth or a new marriage. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. WOMEN come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! WOMEN have a lot to say and a lot to give. The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years - only grows!
You've Turned Into A Mom When: You automatically double-knot everything you tie. You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes. You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school! You can never go to the bathroom alone without someone screaming outside the door. You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce. You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you. You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells. You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?" You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!
The beauty of a woman
The beauty of a woman
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
Win a brand-new 2000 Chevy Blazer! By entering the Chevy Blazer Sweepstakes, you will also become a registered member of ClubMom! Sweepstakes winner will be notified by email after the drawing on June 15, 2000.
Mental Health Institute's Answering Machine
FOR ALL THE MOMS I KNOW . . . . We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...." But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation. I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right. I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years --- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs. I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future. I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts. My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings. This blessed gift from God . . .that of being a Mother.
I am Woman hear me Roar! Real mothers don't eat quiche; they don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mothers know that dried playdough doesn't come out of shag carpets. Real Mothers don't want to know what the vacuum just sucked up. Real Mothers sometimes ask "why me?" and get their answer when a little voice says, "because I love you best." Real Mothers know that a child's growth is not measured by height or years or grade...It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom...
Travel & Leisure circles the globe to bring you the best. Whether you set your sights on lands beyond the horizon or prefer traveling closer to home, you'll find exciting destinations and countless leisure-time diversions in the pages of Travel & Leisure.
The Images of Mother 4 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mommy can do anything! 8 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 YEARS OF AGE ~ My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 YEARS OF AGE ~ Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either. 16 YEARS OF AGE ~ Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned. 18 YEARS OF AGE ~ That old woman? She's way out of date! 25 YEARS OF AGE ~ Well, she might know a little bit about it. 35 YEARS OF AGE ~ Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion. 45 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wonder what Mom would have thought about it? 65 YEARS OF AGE ~ Wish I could talk it over with Mom.
MY MOTHER-MY BEST FRIEND
When I was just a little girl
The years went by
Even as a woman grown,
The years have flown
The woman grown weeps quiet tears Author Marianne
Not Mechanically Inclined My wife came home yesterday and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is." I asked her what it was and she told me it has water in the carburetor. I thought for a moment, then said, "You know I don't mean this badly, but you're not that mechanically inclined. You don't know the carburetor from the radiator." "No, there's definitely water in the carburetor" she insisted. "OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?" "In the lake."
Why do women cry?
"Why are you crying?" he asked his mom.
Later the little boy asked his father,
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry...
GOD said......."When I made woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort.... I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children......I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining...... I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt them very badly....... This same sensitivity helps her to make a child's boo-boo feel better and shares in their teenagers anxieties and fears.......I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. I gave her a tear to shed, It's hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. It's her only weakness.... It's a tear for mankind...................."
Please use this button to tell your friends!
click here Join the Keep Smiling then click send
|
Issue
# 156
Happy Mother's Day ! I want to just ake a second
to say Happy Mothers's Day to to my mom, Ellen B. Othrrggrs! She Lives
in Florida and I live in Arizona and we don't get to visit often! This is
what Mother's Day is all about ...This day is set aside so we will take one
day out of our busy lives to say " I love you Mom".
