|
|
.
.
Hello everyone,
As you all know Keep Smiling is made from the email that you send to othrrggrs@aol.com. You can send in anything that you think is funny. Keep Smiling may not be able to use everything that is sent in but everything thing that is received is greatly appreciated. Please when you are sending email to othrrggrs@aol.com PLEASE use "Keep Smiling" in the subjectline. Send graphics, and jokes, Pictures, short stories and wavs and midi and graphics and clowns and .....and....and Remember now the address to send your email to is: othrrggrs@aol.com .
.
.
Preacher's New Dentures
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.....
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
.
.
.
.
A man is going down the road, and gets pulled over by a highway patrolman.
When he gets up to the car, he tells him that he was speeding.
The man is shocked, but not startled by being pulled over because he is always speeding.
While the highway patrolman is standing there, he sees that the man has 9 huge knives in the back seat. He asks him what they are for, and he tells him that they are for his act, and he is a juggler. The partolman does not believe him, and tells him to prove it. So he gets out of the car, and starts to juggle the knives.
At the same time, 2 men are driving by and witness the two on the other side of the road.
One of the men looks to the other man and says, 'Man, I sure am glad I quit drinking, those sobriety tests these days are rough!'
.
.
Just click the cup
|
.
.
"I went on a diet - had to go on two diets at the same time
'cause one diet wasn't giving me enough food."
- Barry Marter
Get Up and Go To School!
Early one morning, a loving mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up, dear. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old.
And for another, you're the Principal!"
.
.
.
.
Every writer is a frustrated actor who recites his lines in
the hidden auditorium of his skull.
-- Rod Serling
Nancy Does Windows - Windows 95/98 Tips
.
.
@ the Phone Company
My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local Bell Atlantic Office. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me.
I wasn't really sure who was next and when we got to the front of the line, the man gestured to me and said, "After you."
I smiled at him and said, "No, please, after you. I have all day."
Then he shook his head sadly and repeated, "No, sonny, you go on ahead. My doctor says I have at least six months."
.
.
Win a Pair of His or Hers 2000 Volkswagen Beetles
.
.
OBITUARY
I don't usually pass on news like this. I know you are busy. But sometimes we have to pause and truly remember what life is about, so I pass on this sad, sad news.There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died.The truly horrible thing is that they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They'd put his left leg in and, well, you know the rest.
.
.
Don't forget about the poetry contest!
The International Library of Poetry will award 250 prizes totaling $58,000.00 to amateur poets in the coming months.
.
.
| Dear God
Why didn't you save the school children in Littleton, Colorado Sincerely, Concerned Student
AND THE REPLY...
Dear Concerned Student: I am not allowed in schools. Sincerely, God . |
.
.
.
Two blondes were painting a room. The one working on the walls asked the one who was painting the ceiling, "Got a good grip on your brush?"
"Sure," came the reply.
"Well, hold on tight. I'm taking the ladder."
.
.
.
.
Murphy's Laws for Parents
The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.
.
The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
.
The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.
.
The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.
.
Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.
.
Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.
.
Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.
.
.
Be Sure to visit the Keep Smiling Sweepstakes a lot of new contests have been added. Enter them all!
.
.
Taking a break
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.
He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
God", he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."
| Kiss me goodbye and then I am going to go visit these links |  |
Keep Smiling SweepStakes |
