issue#129
issue#129
Hello everyone, I want to
remind you to invite your friends to join Keep Smiling. Send
them to this page
Sign
me up for the KEEP SMILING NEWSLETTER
Keep Smiling is going to run links in this newsletter and upcoming newsletters to help you with the Holidays . We have some good links for coupons that you can print out and take to the store to save money and different plans that are free to you so please use them. Use them often. Kids Collect coupons for Mom! During the Holidays everyone can use the savings!
Also I would like to show you a couple of pages that was made by some of the younger members of Keep Smiling I have three links to share with you today. The Kids that made these pages are 7, 8 and 13 years old. If they can make pages ...hehe ... believe it or not YOU can too!
Cody's Page Max's Page Kira's Page
Do you have webpages? If you would like Keep Smiling to consider your page for use in future issues? Please send them to Othrrggrs@aol.com please use My Homepage in the subject line. Please no commecial pages.
Remember that I cannot use all links immediately but will consider them to be used in upcoming newsletters.
.Do you know how I made this background? Want to guess?
Do you have any cool backgrounds that you would like to submit?
Send them as attachments to: othrrggrs@aol.com please use "Backgrounds" in the subject line
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Did you know?
The venom in a Daddy Long-Legs spider is more poisonous than a Black Widow's or a Brown Recluse, but they cannot bite humans because their jaws won't open wide enough.
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A sale representative stops at a small manufacturing plant in the Midwest. He presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift.
"No, thanks," says the plant manager. "I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn't like it."
The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manager out for martinis. "No, thanks," the plant manager replies. "I tried alcohol once, but didn't like it."
Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. "I suppose you play golf," says the salesman. "I'd like to invite you to be a guest at my club."
"No, thanks," the manager says. "I played golf once, but I didn't like it."
Just then a young man enters the office. "Let me introduce my son, Bill," says the plant manager.
"Let me guess," the salesman replies. "An only child?"
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Did you know?
If you toss a penny 10,000 times, it will not be heads 5,000 times, but more like 4950. The heads picture weighs more, so it ends up on the bottom.
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Did you know?
Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.
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Now a Catholic
A Jewish man moves into a strict Catholic neighborhood. Every Friday, the Catholics practically go crazy -- because while they're eating only fish, the Jew is in his backyard barbecuing steaks. So, the Catholics work on the Jew to convert him.
Finally, by long endurance, the Catholics succeed. They take the Jew to a priest who sprinkles holy water on the Jew and intones, "Born a Jew......Raised a Jew ......Now a Catholic."
The Catholics are ecstatic; No more delicious, but maddening, smells every Friday evening! But come the following Friday, the scent of barbecue wafts through the neighborhood. The Catholics all rush to the Jew's house to *remind* him of his new diet. They find him standing over the sizzling steak, knife in one hand, his other hand dipping in water. He sprinkles water over the meat, saying, "Born a cow ......Raised a cow ......Now a fish!
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Did you
know?
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
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Is it a Boy or Girl?
A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like "chalk" or "pencil," she described, would have a gender association. For example: House is feminine -- "la" maison. In English, of course, words are of neutral gender.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was comprised of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender (la) because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The group of women, however, concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine (le) gender because:
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
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Did you know?
The pop you get when you crack your knuckles is actually
a bubble of gas bursting.
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Have all the best coupons and freebies emailed
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Bats In The Belfry
Three pastors in the South are having lunch in a diner. One says, "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything -- noise, spray, cats -- nothing seems to scare them away.
Another says, "Me too. I have hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away."
The third says, "I baptized all mine and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one back since!".
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ThirdAge - Fun & Games - Play 4
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Ring The Bell
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we RUN!"
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Did you know?
The winter of 1932 was so cold that
Niagara Falls froze completetely solid.
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THE REDNECK STOMP ! YEEEEEEE ! HAAAAAAA !
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What airplane can land using a parachute?
The SR20 light aircraft from Cirrus Designs can land safely, even from a full spin, by popping out a built-in emergency parachute.
It's the first airplane designed to make a parachute landing that has been licensed by the US Federal Aviation Administration.
When the pilot pulls a lever in the cockpit, a rocket shoots out of the rear of the plane, trailing the parachute. To prevent the chute from ripping to shreds if the plane is moving at a high speed, a cloth slider moves down the cables, opening the parachute slowly.
Once the parachute is open, the plane settles to the ground at about 17 miles per hour (27 kph). When it touches down, the landing gear is destroyed, punching up through the wing, but the people in the plane will not be injured.
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Did you know?
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
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Find out what's on sale near you!
lists all the local sales.
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WASHINGTON DC. --POST IMMEDIATELY
The Office of Personnel Management for the federal government today announced the 2000 holiday schedule for federal employees.
There will be two less holidays in DC next year. Halloween and Thanksgiving have been canceled.
The witch is moving to New York. She's taking the turkey with her.
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Did you know?
If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.
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get money back on every purchase!
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Golf Ball
Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.
"Don't you have at least one other golf ball?", he asked. The other guy replied that no, he only needed the one.
"Are you sure?", the friend persisted. "What happens if you lose that ball?"
The other guy replied, "This is a very special golf ball. I won't lose it so I don't need another one."
Well," the friend asked, "what happens if you miss your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"
"That's okay," he replied, "this special golf ball floats. I'll be able to retrieve it."
"Well what happens if you hit it into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs?"
The other guy replied, "That's okay too. You see, this special golf ball has a homing beacon. I'll be able to get it back -- no problem."
Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball into a sand trap. What are you going to do then?"
"No problem," says the other guy, "you see, this ball is florescent. I'll be able to see it in the dark."
Finally satisfied that he needs only the one golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"
The other guy replies, "I found it."
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Did you know?
You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
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Win a trip to Shop Till You Drop! It's a |
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Do it Yourself-Auto Repair
A blonde woman was driving her car home one night when she suddenly found herself in the middle of a really bad hail storm. The hail stones were as big as golf balls. Her car got dented up really bad.
The next day she took it to a repair shop. The repair guy noticing that she was blonde, decided to have some fun and told her to blow into the tail pipe really hard when she got home, and the dents would pop out.
When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe, and her blonde girlfriend saw her. Her friend was startled and said, "What are you doing?" thinking the worst. She told her the repair guy told her to blow into the tail pipe real hard and the dents would pop out.
Her girlfriend says "Duh! You need to roll up the windows first"!
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Did you know?
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
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"Knock Knock"
A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house.
It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.
The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation "Genesis 3:10."
Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."
Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, but I was naked, and I hid myself."
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Did you know?
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
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| Did You Know? |
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The Lamb Mary had a little Lamb, His fleece was white as snow, Everywhere that Mary went, The Lamb was sure to go. He followed her to school each day, When it wasn't against the rules, He made the children laugh and play, To have a Lamb at school! Then the rules changed one day, Against the law it became To bring the Lamb of God to school, Or even speak His name. Every day got worse and worse, And days turned into years, Instead of hearing children laugh and play, You heard them crying tears What must we do to stop the crime, That's in our schools today? Let the Lamb come back to school, And teach your kids to pray. |
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The End
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