KEEP SMILING #118

#118

Hi everyone ,

The Keep smiling newsletter is Free to everyone that wants to read it on the web. The original purpose of creating the Keep Smiling newsletter was to provide good clean entertainment during a time when almost everything on the web was of an adult nature. Since that time there has been several other newsletters and e-zines to pop up. Thus providing the online community with better online entertainment for the general audience. Many of you can probably remember what was available before Keep Smiling.

Although there is still an over abundance of adult content on the web and in the e-mail most people want good clean entertainment.

To you the readers and members Keep Smiling does not cost anything ... it is totally free to you. However, to me it is different story. There are several cost that are involved. Being not a rich man but still wanting to provide the world with the Keep Smiling newsletter I must use sponsors. Sponsors pay a few cents when people check into their programs. Meaning if you click on a sponsor's link from the Keep Smiling Website or from the newsletter, Keep Smiling will be paid a few cents. This helps out with the operating costs.

I search for the best sponsors that offer real values to you and I reject the ones that are scams, so you can feel safe with the links in the Keep Smiling website and newsletter.

In this weeks issue there are several sponsors with some really neat programs for you, please check them out and register for as many as possible.

THANK YOU!

Keep Smiling

Othrrggrs@aol.com

**Let Sleeping Dogs Lie**
One afternoon, I was in the backyard hanging the laundry when an old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. But when I walked into the house, he followed me, sauntered down the hall and fell asleep in a corner. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back. He resumed his position in the hallway and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap." The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep." By Susan F. Roman .

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Get a new car for your wife... 
It'll be a great trade!

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 Welcome to Just 4 Fun® 
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**Workman Killed At The Construction Site**
A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other workers. On account of their past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were a motley crew. Here is how the facts of the case shaped up: The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged. The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time. The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't do anything, and that he was framed. The painter had a brush with the law several years ago. The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges. The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly. The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter. The autopsy led the police to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him was irrefutable, because it was found that the workman, when he died, was hammered.

Be modest and be proud of it!

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

Checkers

Rumors

A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, "There’s that woman that the next door neighbor guy is in love with!"

His wife in the kitchen dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window. "Where? Where?" she demanded.

"Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress."

"You idiot! That’s his wife!!!"

"Yes, I know," the husband said with a satisfied grin.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive

Dream A Little Dream

Lost in the Desert

There's this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary.

Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse. He goes back into the house and asks the missionary, "Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?" The missionary says, "Sure but there is a special thing about this horse. You have to say 'Thank God' to make it go and 'Amen' to make it stop."

Not paying much attention, the man says, "Sure, ok." So he gets On the horse and says, "Thank God" and the horse starts walking.

Then he say, "Thank God, thank God, " and the horse starts trotting. Feeling really brave, the man say, "Thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God, thank God" and the horse just takes off.

Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he's doing everything he can to make the horse stop. "Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!" Finally he remembers, "Amen!!"

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. The man leans back in the saddle and says, "Thank God"

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;

to steal from many is research.

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No one is listening until you make a mistake.

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Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

My New Jag !!!!

About twenty years ago, a young and very successful executive named Josh was traveling down a Chicago neighborhood street. He was going a bit too fast in his sleek, black, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, which was only two months old.

He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no child darted out, but a brick sailed out and-WHUMP! -- it smashed into the Jag's shiny black door!

SCREECH...!!!! Brakes slammed! Gears ground into reverse, and tires madly spun the Jaguar back to the spot from where the brick had been thrown.

Josh jumped out of the car, grabbed the kid and pushed him up against a parked car. He shouted at the kid, "What was that all about and who are you?

Just what the heck are you doing?!" Building up a head of steam, he went on.

"That's my new Jag, that brick you threw is gonna cost you a lot of money. Why did you throw it?"

"Please, mister, please ... I'm sorry! I didn't know what else to do!" pleaded the youngster."I threw the brick because no one would stop!"

Tears were dripping down the boy's chin as he pointed around the parked car.

"It's my brother, mister," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Sobbing, the boy asked the executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."

Moved beyond words, the young executive tried desperately to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. Straining, he lifted the young man back into the wheelchair and took out his handkerchief and wiped the scrapes and cuts, checking to see that everything was going to be OK. He then watched the younger brother push him down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long walk back to the sleek, black, shining, 12 cylinder Jaguar XKE, a long and slow walk. Josh never did fix the side door of his Jaguar. He kept the dent to remind him not to go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at him to get his attention...

When everything's coming your way,

you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

REMEMBER THE WALKIE-TALKIE YOU HAD AS A CHILD?

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Support bacteria -

they're the only culture some people have.

Bargain Dog!

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