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Hi everyone ,
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The content of Keep Smiling is suitable for all ages and is meant for the enjoyment everyone.
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People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did ... but
people will never forget how you made them feel.
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"It's tough to stay married.
My wife kisses the dog on the lips ...
yet she won't drink from my glass!"
~ Rodney Dangerfield ~
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Busted
Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel "Any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.
"Yeah, looks like it"
"Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again....."Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....."
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What kind of creature can tie itself into a knot?
One of the most ancient creatures in the ocean is the hagfish, which remains virtually unchanged over its 300 million year history. This primitive, boneless agnathan (jawless fish) looks similar to an eel, but without visible eyes.
The hagfish is a scavenger that consumes dead creatures whose bodies have sunk to the sea floor. When threatened, a hagfish can emit up to a gallon of a syrupy, toxic slime, that makes it almost impossible to capture.
There's only one problem with all that slime: the hagfish needs a way to get rid of it after escaping the predator. It does this by tying its own tail in a knot, then sliding the knot all the way up past its head. When the knot pops off its head, it slips out of the slime and swims away.
More about the fascinating, primitive hagfish:
http://oberon.educ.sfu.ca/splash/wednesday/hagfish.htm
http://www.hmsc.orst.edu/odfw/devfish/sp/hagfish.html
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SEEING EYE DOG
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic.
This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.
The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog. A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"
The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his butt."
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GGGGRRRRRRRRREEEEAAAATTTTTTTT!!!!
Tony the Tiger original designer, children's book illustrator Martin Provinsen, first created an orange cat with black stripes and a blue nose who walked on all fours.
But like most celebrities, this cat has undergone extensive cosmetic changes over the decades.
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Play the cow game at
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| RECIPE
REFLECTIONS
I didn't have potatoes, So I substituted rice. I didn't have paprika, So I used another spice.
I didn't have tomato sauce, So I used tomato paste. A whole can, not half a can; I don't believe in waste.
A friend gave me the recipe, She said you couldn't beat it. There must be something wrong with her, I couldn't even eat it! |
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Denounce the devil!
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.
Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"
The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"
The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."
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Welcome Back To N.Y. N.Y.
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Put on a Happy Face
Gray skies are gonna clear up, Put on a Happy Face, Brush off the clouds and cheer up Put on a Happy Face. Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy, It's not your style. You'll look so good that you'll be glad ya' decided to smile! Pick out a pleasant outlook, Stick out that noble chin; Wipe off that "full-of-doubt" look, Slap on a happy grin! And spread sunshine all over the place, Just put on a Happy Face! |
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Why do dogs bury bones?
This notorious habit is one of a few that reveal our canine companions' less housebroken history. In the wild, many animals kill prey that is larger than they can eat in one sitting. Just as a Thanksgiving turkey will turn into sandwiches or soup the next day, predators try to save leftovers for future meals or midnight snacks.
Unfortunately, the animal world's unwelcome houseguests seek to raid this treasure. Hyenas, jackals, vultures and other scavengers are quick to move in on any unfinished prey, sometimes before the predator is done eating it. As a result, many animals get their meals to go--eating them high in a tree or at a hidden location. Those animals that can't climb trees or who lack hiding places will bury their food--a habit that has followed Fido to this day.
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Baseball in Heaven
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90’s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill.
His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.”
The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies.
A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.”
“What’s the bad news?”
“The bad news is that you’re pitching on Wednesday.”
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You think you have it Hard why when I was your age ...
Hard? You don't know what hard is, boy:
When I was your age we got up in pitch dark,
and walked five miles to school and ten miles back,
uphill both ways,in six feet of snow, and all we had for lunch
was a cold sweet potato and dry cornbread.
And when we got back home your grandma made us
chop cotton, slop the hogs, then milk chickens
before supper, and all we had to eat
was chicken-fried pine straw and redeye gravy.
Maybe some turnip greens, Maybe some collards.
But what do you know? Shoot, you've always had
hot food plopped in front of you, like magic.
for you, it's all ice cream and soda pop.
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