Two blondes walk into a building, You'd think at least one of them would have seen it. Just send in your favorite recipes to gloria@keepsmiling.com and we will share them with eachother. Today we have some BBQ and grilling recipes for you to enjoy Smoked Brisket Barbecue Beer Can Chicken Barbecue Ribs Grilled Albacore Tuna Steaks So many recipes ~ so little thyme! Hey Take a moment to check out the the Brand New Recipe of the Day Be sure to check back each day for a new recipe. Also check out the New Keep Smiling Coupons Page for sites that offer you coupons that you can print out and save money on your everyday purchases.  . . Mensa Convention Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and several members lunched at a local cafe. While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa! The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer. They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution. "Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..." "Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the caps of both bottles and switched them.   CLOTHESLINES A clothesline  was a news forecast To neighbors passing by. There were no secrets you could keep When clothes were hung to dry. It also was a friendly link For neighbors always knew If company had  stopped on by To spend a night or two.   For then you'd see  the fancy sheets And towels upon the line; You'd see the company  table clothes With intricate design.   The line announced a  baby's birth To folks who lived inside As brand new infant clothes were hung So carefully with pride.   The ages of the children Could so readily be known By watching how the sizes changed You'd know how much they'd grown.   It also told when illness struck, As extra sheets were hung; Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too, Haphazardly were strung.   It said, "Gone on vacation now" When lines hung limp and bare. It told, "We're  back!" when full lines sagged With not an inch to spare.   New folks in town were scorned upon If wash was dingy gray, As neighbors raised their brows, And looked disgustedly away.   But clotheslines now are of the past For dryers make work less. Now what goes on inside a home Is any body's guess   I really miss that way of life. It was a friendly sign When neighbors knew each other best By what hung on the line! Author Unknown . . . . Chocolate Ice Cream A man approached an ice cream van and said, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please." The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate." "In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream." "You don't understand, sir," the girl said. "We have no chocolate." "Then just give me some chocolate," he insisted. Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell 'van,' as in 'vanilla'?" The man spelled, "V-A-N." "Now spell 'straw,' as in 'strawberry.'" "OK. 'S-T-R-A-W.'" "Now," the girl asked, "spell 'stink,' as in 'chocolate.'" The man hesitated and then looked confused as he replied, "There is no stink in chocolate." "That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screamed. . . Keep Smiling Horoscopes I  am Dazzling Debbie I do Horoscopes Keep Smiling Horoscope be sure to check back each week (New horoscope each Friday)     Sleeping Problems There was a girl who was having problems sleeping. She went to see the doctor, and he said, "Explain to me exactly what kind of problems you are having." The young girl said, "Some days I go to bed, and I think I am Cinderella, then I think I am the Wicked Witch of the West. And still other nights, I go to sleep thinking I am Snow White!" "Hmmmm..." said the physician. "I think you're having Disney spells!" . . Baking Mrs. Pauley tried her hand at baking cinnamon rolls for the first time. She put them on the breakfast table, and Pauley picked one up and took a bite. Mrs. Pauley waited for several minutes for the compliment that never came. Finally, she asked: "How much do you think I get if I sold those cinnamon rolls commercially?" "No more than 10 years," Pauley replied, never putting down the morning paper. . . . . At The Coffee Shop Two mothers met for coffee. "Well Ruthie, how are the kids?" "To tell you the truth, my son has married a real tramp!" says Ruth. "She doesn't get out of bed until 11. She's out all day spending his money on Heaven knows what, and when he gets home, exhausted, does she have a nice hot dinner for him? Ha! She makes him take her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant." "Oh! What a shame. And how about your daughter?" "Ah! Now there's a lucky girl. She has married a saint. He brings her breakfast in bed, he gives her enough money to buy whatever she needs, and in the evening he always takes her out to dinner at a nice restaurant." . . . . . Chicken Surprise A couple goes for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and orders the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down. "Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Sputtering in a fit of pique, he calls the waiter over, describes what is happening, and demands an explanation! "Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?" The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise." "Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck." . . . . . Dinner Done Right Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to  cook up another batch.   She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again.   That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as   the guest called  out, "It's the Poison Control Center.  They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."   . . Sweet Potatoes Every morning during our coffee break, my co-workers and I   listened to the culinary disasters of a newlywed colleague.   We then tried to share some helpful hints and recipes.   One day she asked us for step-by-step instructions on cooking   sweet potatoes, one of her husband's favorites. "I've finally   been able to make them sweet," she said, "but how do you make   them orange?" . . . . Smarter A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Green. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks l ater, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already." A Free Zone The Net Should Be Free & Fun And You Will Find It Here! The Internets top 25 freebie's and the Offer Of The Week can be found here. Also Join our Daily Freebie Newsletter. And get the best freebies daily. Its 100% free to join.   . . Smelly Shoes Simply fill a tube sock with kitty litter, baking soda, or tea leaves; tie the end closed; and place the filled socks in the shoes when you're not wearing them. These sachets can be used over and over in any kind of shoe. . .   Daily Toon Click to enlarge Cartoonsby Andertoons . . A Home-Cooked Meal When the power failed at the elementary school, the cook couldn't serve a hot meal in the cafeteria, so at the last minute she whipped up great stacks of peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches. As one little boy filled his plate, he said, "It's about time. At last -- a home-cooked meal! . . I always know... God won't give me more than I can handle There are times I just wish He didn't trust me quite so much. I keep all of Gloria's Collection of recipes in the Pantry. Visit me there and you will find a lot more recipes to check out. PANTRY Gloria's Kitchen is updated with each new issue of Keep Smiling Join for Free! Hint Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.   I know you usually find me at the end of the page but, Check out this link and earn some money just for your opinion! Read on down to the bottom of the page for more great stuff! See ya there! Smiling Sam Here Smiling Sam Reporting on Marriage Married life can be very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.   Like this cartoon ? License this cartoon for print use, web use or presentation use. > Buy this cartoon on a mug, mousemat or t-shirt. Buy this cartoon as a print or original artwork.

Please, if you have a recipe that is yours or your family's favorite, to please share them with all of us. Just mail them to Gloria@keepsmiling.com and I will share them with everyone.

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